My nephew gave me this for Christmas. I never got a chance to thank him, as I spent our traditional midnight gift swap blitzed to the point of unconsciousness. For all I know, he’s still offended.

The important thing is, I’m one Freddy Krueger richer.

As part of Funko’s “Pop!” vinyl figure collection, Freddy has joined the likes of Gizmo, Beetlejuice and even a flying monkey from Oz.

I love what they’ve done with his skin. It looks more like innocent paper mache than burned flesh. It’s three ounces of imitation lava away from becoming an incredible science fair project.

The inclusion of teddy bear-style eyes really boosts his gregarious air. I would absolutely trust this version of Freddy with my imaginary children. Things with teddy bear-style eyes are never up to no good.

Me: Hi Freddy, how goes?

Freddy: ….

Me: Not feeling chatty?

Freddy: ….

Me: Is this because you have no mouth?

Freddy: ….

Me: You know Freddy, ellipses have three dots. Not four.

Freddy: …